Second-Rate Villains Don’t Get Foiled as Much as I Do
by B. R. Shepherd
I was ambitious this morning and tried to apply online for jobs at Store One and Store Two*. Their websites won’t let me into their system after I’ve gone through the account set-up process.
They’re dangling the jobs right in front of my nose: “Ooh lookie-lookie, here’s a job! You want the job? Nope–can’t have it! Oh-oh, here’s another job, right here, get it get it–nope! Can’t have it!”
I checked and triple-checked my spelling, I restarted my computer, thinking maybe it was me or my internet connection, and I even used my mother’s computer.
On site One, I asked five times for a new password, was given a cheery, “We’ll send you a new one within 30 minutes!” and never got it. Started a new account and then was told I didn’t exist in their system. Tried the old one again and finally got in. And the “Start” button is still broken. EVERY relevant button is broken.
Five times on site Two I received an icy “Invalid login. Please try again.” Upfront rejection is so much better than beating around the bush, you know?
Fortunately, I found a printable version of the Store One’s job application form. Store Two has no printable form. I take solace in the fact that in a sudden apocalyptic destruction of the internet and/or the rebellion of artificial intelligence, Store Two will be the first to succumb to utter desolation, while I survive because I still know how to use pen and paper. Haha, Store Two. Haha.
*Names changed to protect myself from not getting said jobs or getting fired if the manager(s) stumble across my blog.