The Laconic Inkdrop

"He that uses many words for the explaining any subject doth, like the cuttlefish, hide himself for the most part in his own ink." John Ray

Something I should wrap my head around for job hunting and interviewing.

faith dwight

When I worked as a magazine editor, I had a great friendship with our publisher.  Her name was (and still is, actually) Brenda. She was in her mid-40s and one of those women who just oozes confidence.  She had a wicked sense of humor, a commanding presence, and a really, really nice shoe collection.  She’d done very well for herself –  an editor by 26 (like me), a decades-long career in journalism, with a knowledge of the industry that made me want to sit at her feet and soak up everything she knew.  She was one of those people who knows how to get what she wants by treating people well, but also has an ever-so-slightly intimidating edge – just the right amount to keep people from messing with her.

Anyway, I was sitting in Brenda’s office one day, having a discussion about an upcoming issue of the magazine, and…

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Slight Reconstruction

Nemesis Watching, whilst an excellent thriller or mystery title, is too pretentious for my intent. I feel that the new title and the quote in the sub-header explain themselves, so that is all I shall say on the matter.

A lengthier post will be coming soon..ishly.

Why’s the Time ALWAYS Gone?

First things first: I give a thousand thanks to the lady at Store One who–after I explained the site’s malfunctioning and the inconvenience of filling out an in-store kiosk application–made a kind exception for me and gave me a hard copy of the job application this past weekend.

My six-month grace period for my student loans terminates at the end of June. I’m calling my creditors tomorrow morning. Here’s to hoping they won’t truss me up and hang me over the entry-way to their office.

~

It originally said, “Debtors, ye be warned,” but Gore Verbinski liked the imagery so much, they filmed it and airbrushed it to say “pirates” instead. Go ask Johnny Depp if you don’t believe me.

“The Wheel Is Turning But the Hamster Is Dead”–in graphics

If you hear these kinds of questions from a grandparent, other relatives, or from good friends of the family, don’t blow them off and/or storm out of the room, even though you are sick to death of hearing them over and over again. That’s not nice. They keep asking because they care. (I’m preaching to myself here.)

However, feel free to show these illustrations to the next financially secure/employed shmo that asks you one (or all) of the following half-baked questions:

  • “Can’t you find a job?” or “Can’t you find a better job than that? I thought that’s what you went to college for.”
  • “Can’t you just relocate to find a job?” or “Can’t you just save up your money to move?”
  • “Why do you think they didn’t hire you?”

 

Store One Redux

Remember that awesome printable  job form I found for Store One earlier? After all the drama with  the online applications?

I printed it out on our nicest, 28 lb. paper and started filling it out with a confident, black gel-ink pen.  Happy as a lark, I was.

I get to Section 2, Box 3. “For store management or office based opportunities at our Regional or  Geelong National Office, please refer to our website www.storeone.au.*” .au. The cognitive dissonance  isn’t buzzing the alarms yet. Maybe Store One’s main office isn’t in the U.S. Moving on.

I wonder why the application didn’t ask for details about my college education. Ok, odd,  but…moving…on….

Alright, Section 6, character references! Only it’s calling them “referees.” Well that’s interesting.  “Referee’s organisation.” With an s. I suppose a British person wrote the form.

Section 7 asks me four very good questions (to which I give well-thought-out, honest answers):

  • “What do you perceive as good customer service?”
  • “What are some of your traits that makes you an ideal candidate for a customer service position?”
  • “What does teamwork mean to you?”
  • “Why do you believe safety is important in the workplace?”

Section 8 is about rights to work . . . for Australians.

This is just a typo. And I assume there must be a lot of Australians coming to the States and they . . . really must like working at Store One, who felt it was necessary to include this on the form.

Section 10. Oh, that section where you have that brief, queasy, cold-palms moment when you feel like you’re signing your soul away and if you made one minute mistake in filling everything out, they’ll drag you away to everlasting perdition.

I’ve spent an hour filling out an application to work at Store One in Australia.

I’d love to go to Australia. I really would. That’s where all the hotties are. Also, there’s koalas and those lovely landscapes. But the timing’s all wrong, beautiful Australia. It’s not you. It’s me.

*Not a working link. As you’ve discovered, I am sure.